Why do Koreans Say “Let’s Eat Someday” Without Meaning It?

Waiting Weeks for a Promised Meal — It’s a Social Signal, Not a Plan

If you’ve spent time in Korea—or around Koreans—you’ve probably heard this line before:

“Let’s eat someday.”

To us, it sounds warm. Polite. Familiar.
To you, it might sound like the beginning of a plan.

So you wait.
A week passes.
Then two.
No message. No date. No follow-up.

At some point, the question naturally comes up:
Was it a lie?

From our perspective, not really.

To understand this phrase, you need to understand how intention is often expressed in every Korean communication. 

A Korean barbecue table filled with grilled pork belly and shared side dishes, symbolizing social bonding rather than a scheduled meal.

A traditional Korean barbecue spread seen from above, highlighting how sharing food in Korea represents social connection and goodwill more than a concrete plan.

“Let’s Eat Someday” Is About Politeness, Not Scheduling

In many Western cultures, an invitation usually implies action.
If someone says, “Let’s have lunch sometime,” it often means the plan will eventually happen.

In Korea, we often use the same kind of sentence for a different purpose.

When we say “Let’s eat someday,” we’re usually not opening our calendars.
We’re expressing goodwill.

To us, the phrase works as a social gesture.
It says:

  • I feel comfortable with you.
  • There’s no tension between us.
  • Our relationship is on good terms.

The sentence completes its job on its own.
No date is required.

Why Food, Specifically?

In Korea, eating together has always meant more than just eating.

Sharing a meal traditionally signals trust, closeness, and social harmony.
That’s why questions like “Have you eaten?” are still used as greetings, not literal inquiries.

Food works as a kind of emotional language for us.

  • It feels warm and familiar
  • It shortens emotional distance
  • It allows connection without obligation

“Let’s eat someday” belongs to that same category.
It’s less about food and more about relationship.

Why the Silence Afterward Feels Normal to Us

From inside the culture, not following up doesn’t feel rude.

The relationship has already been acknowledged.
Nothing has been rejected.
No promise has been made.

Socially, everything is still intact.

We understand why this silence can feel confusing—or even dismissive—to outsiders.
But from our side, nothing went wrong.

There was no broken promise, because there was no promise in the first place.

How Koreans Show They Actually Mean It

That said, there is a clear difference between a polite signal and a real plan.

When we genuinely want to meet, the sentence changes shape.
Details appear.

  • A specific day
  • A specific place
  • A follow-up message

Without those details, “Let’s eat someday” stays exactly where it started:
as a friendly expression, not an invitation.

What This Says About How Koreans Communicate

Korean communication often prioritizes keeping relationships smooth over making things explicit.

Leaving things slightly open helps us avoid discomfort, pressure, or awkward refusals.
It keeps interactions flexible and emotionally safe.

This isn’t about being dishonest.
It’s about context.

Once you understand that context, the phrase—and the silence after it—feels very different.

How to Respond Without Making Things Awkward

If you actually want the meal to happen, it’s okay to be more direct.

You can suggest a date.
You can ask about timing.

That isn’t rude in Korea.
You’re not pushing.
You’re simply translating expectations between cultures.

Final Thought

In Korea, “Let’s eat someday” is rarely a promise.

It’s a way of saying,
We’re good. We’re comfortable. Let’s keep it that way.

Once you understand that,
the silence afterward stops feeling personal.

Written by Kyungsik Song on January 11, 2026 

Image Source: Pixabay free image

WhyKoreans, Korean culture, Korean communication, Korean social norms, Korean expressions, Korean food culture, Cross-cultural communication, Cultural differences, Life in Korea, Understanding Korea, Korean etiquette, Everyday Korean life

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